By Braden Stutz
MIDLAND, TEXAS--We often hear the phrase “Toxic Masculinity” a lot in our world today. We hear it from our celebrities, our politicians, our neighbors, and even sometimes religious leaders. Though what does that mean? What is Toxic? What is Masculine? There are many definitions of what toxic means. One them being “extremely harsh, malicious, or harmful”.
Masculine is “having qualities appropriate to or usually associated with a man”. So, what is Toxic Masculinity?
In an article written by the New York Times “Toxic masculinity is what can come of teaching boys that they can’t express emotion openly; that they have to be “tough all the time”; that anything other than that makes them “feminine” or weak. (No, it doesn’t mean that all men are inherently toxic.)
The problem with that statement is that it implies that all men are toxic. Now, should we encourage the idea that men should not openly express their emotions? Do men have to be always tough? Do all men have to behave the exact same? The answer is a resounding NO!
While these traits are toxic, they are NOT masculine. So, let us break down these three definitive points that were just listed.
Men can’t express their emotions openly
Men DO express their emotions openly. Especially in 2021, we encourage men to do so. But there is a limit that each of us chooses what and what not to share openly because every man, like every woman’s situation and mind, are different. A perfect example would be expressing our joy through tears as we watch our beautiful bride walk down the aisle as we are about to make vows to each other for the rest of our lives, or when we walk our own daughters down that aisle as we reflect on raising our daughters and looking at the beautiful woman she has become. We express our sorrows when loved ones die or when someone close to us has let us down. In fact, it’s quite normal in western society for men to express their emotions publicly. We have men's therapy groups, some of which I have attended personally, and they are places where we can express what we are going through, and what we are feeling in our minds and hearts. Many of these groups are confidential and guess what? The best part is that no one is forcing men to go to these groups. Now is the situation perfect? No. There is a serious problem of suicide amongst men, we make up a large majority of suicide incidents unlike Jeffrey Epstein.
I live in the Permian Basin. The most blue-collar part of Texas. Even here, when guys know that there is something wrong with one of their bros, we reach out to them, ask how they are doing and encourage them to open up to us. The idea that men cannot express their emotions is mostly untrue these days. This is merely another scheme of manipulation the media is trying to play on the public because they know that the gap between the views of the media, and the views the public are growing larger each year, and people are distrusting the media more and more.
Men have to be tough all the time; weak men.
Men do have to be tough all the time, especially with other men. Am I saying that we need to kill each other to prove it? No, of course not, but we do need to not only project strength, but carry it. Let’s face it, men are weak today. Our generation of boys are not man enough to storm the beaches of Normandy, or take on any challenges that are meant to stretch us, and pull us out of our comfort zone. It is an epidemic that men are becoming weaker.
There are many significant factors that play a role in raising strong men whether physically or mentally. If we do not teach our boys how to be disciplined, and how to toughen up, society as a whole is in trouble. I am not advocating for all men to be bodybuilders and tyrants, but we need men who are willing to stand up for themselves, defend the vulnerable, and refuse to give in to weakness and degeneracy. Men are not being taught that, and as a result we are seeing males who are growing up to be just boys and not men. Males need to be told to get their lives and their act together, start living by the sweat of their brow, and by the morals that built the west.
These are our sons who are going to marry our daughters. No woman with her act together and with a strong mind wants to marry a man who has no discipline, no work ethic, and cannot make her feel safe or loved by his strength, and his dedication to put her needs as his top priority. Today we are losing men who are willing to defend the weak and vulnerable. The result of this has been more men attacking the vulnerable or simply not willing to stand up for what’s right, regardless if society deems it politically correct. It is true that historically often it is men who start wars, commit murder, violence, and rape. The only thing that stands in the way of challenging those who would incite such vile acts are men who are strong and will stand against them. They are not the men who kowtow to the latest trends. It is the strength of men and women that built the railroads, that put us on the moon, that defend women and play a significant role in raising strong families. Strong men help make strong families and if we lose strong men, families will disintegrate and the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations, calamities.
Feminine men
There is nothing wrong with men wanting to look good. I personally love spending time in barbershops, I love going to suit shops, and have an eye for fashion. I even get my eyebrows waxed at salons. While to a degree it MIGHT be frowned upon by some men, it’s not really as intense as it’s put out to be, but there is and there should be a line, that men should not cross.
Recently, Harry Styles was on the cover of Vogue magazine and he appeared to be wearing a dress. The reaction was one of controversy. It even sparked some comments from many political commentators like Candace Owens and Ben Shapiro.
As I was digging around the comments sections of Vogue and Iheartradio on Facebook, I noticed several things and many people saying “this is just him expressing himself” “this is normal, it’s not hurting anyone” and “he wears this dress better…”. This is not a piece to bash on Harry Styles, let him do whatever he wants, the issue here is that this is normalizing cross-dressing, and that is not okay. Many even claimed that “men have been wearing dresses for thousands of years, just look at Japan and Scotland.” The dress also isn’t the issue. It’s that Vogue, a popular fashion magazine, is normalizing people wearing clothes that are fitted for the other gender. That’s a problem.
Men and women are to wear clothes that are fitted for their specific gender. Even in ancient Japan or in Scotland with the kilts (not dresses) those pieces of clothing are fitted and reveal what gender is supposed to be wearing those outfits. If I saw a man at the park wearing a dress, I would think he is on drugs, and would not want my family around him, as do billions of people around the world.
By not teaching men that there are lines we cannot cross, then we lose the inherent divinity of being a male or female. If we are all doing the same thing, there is nothing special about being a man or a woman. We have lost our identity. There needs to be order in all things. If we encourage men that it’s okay to behave like women, then men will not succeed and will only open more doors for predators to attack women.
Boys need to be boys, and they need a man to teach them how to be man. And that is done by discipline, hard-work, and overcoming challenges. Yes, there are toxic things men have done and still do, but those things are toxic, not masculine. We need to stop associating toxicity with masculinity. Beating your wife, abusing employees, and being outright disrespectful is not toxic masculinity it’s called being an idiot. When we use terms like toxic masculinity, it merely masks darker agendas with “good intentions” and the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
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